Why My Husband Is A Genius…

Right now I know some of you are looking at the title and wondering what my husband did to deserve this acknowledgement while others are laughing their butts off waiting for my warped sense of humor to kick in and hear about what bone head move happened in my house.

I’m sorry later group – you will all be disappointed.

It all started about a week and a half ago when I found out that one of the writer’s conferences I will be attending offered the opportunity to promote my latest book via a book trailer and they will sell copies at the event.

I went online, googled book trailers (because honestly I had no idea what they were talking about), and got far too many options and examples to grasp the concept of what I needed to do. So while whining about this to hubby he said “Use WeVideo – it’s easy…” What is this WeVideo you speak of?

So he explains and asks what my vision is and I have this whole Hollywood production in mind with me standing on the beach, sun setting in the background, epic music playing.

He offers to film. We can’t coordinate schedules so he takes the camera and goes out in 10 degree warmth to get me some beach video.

Cool. He also put together a quick run through so I could sit there and say “that’s not what I wanted…”

(Typical of me – I know) I take over production and can’t get the program to work. Hubby instructs like I am one of his 6 graders. I get pissed… You get the picture.

And then something awesome happens…I work in a program I am familiar with and get the concept down. We convert it to video. I go to his studio to do a voice over and wha-la!

Take a peek at the finished product and let me know what you think…

Click Here To See Trailer

(I also learned that we should never own a business or work together on a creative project. Which is a good thing…And yes – I still think he is a genius!)

Just released!

Archer & Snow Days

There is an Archer marathon going on in my living room. For those of you not familiar, Archer is a politically incorrect cartoon on the FX network featuring a not too bright playboy type spy who works for an intelligence agency his iron-handed mom runs. There is his play girl counterpart who has brains as well as a rockin’ figure, a handicapped gay man, an over sexed, large, drug addicted woman, and a scientist in love with a hologram and that i9s pretty much Archer.

Here is the thing though – as stereotypical the characters may be, they are witty and engaging. In the episode currently on, Archer is trying to communicate to a group of pirates who understand little English without using idioms. (An idiom is a combination of words that has a figurative meaning owing to its common usage such as “pulling my leg” or “drop me a line.”)

How many times do we use idioms to explain a situation or describe a feeling? Oxford English Dictionary contains over 171,476 words with full definitions. There are another 50,000 with particle definitions. Could there be better word choices then just the 5,000 or so a particular person tends to rely on?

Archer does manage to get his point across with an interpreter yet he is coached to only use literal meanings for every word or phrase he uses.

Could you imagine that?

If we all just said what we wanted, and political correctness became obsolete, what a better world we would live in. That is the thing that makes Archer so funny. He is so oblivious about his word choices that he says exactly what he is thinking without a filter.

A simply snow day turned into an English lesson about idioms and word choices.

Thank you, Archer.

What I Do All Day (for those who wondered)

In between semesters there is this illusion created by those who love yet don’t understand me that I do absolutely nothing all day. Think sleep until noon, get up, maybe walk the dog or go to the gym, and then hang out watching TV or staring out the window while I wait for my family to come home.

Yep – I’m living the dream.

Now if you believe that then I need new peeps.

In reality my day starts as soon as my family vacates the house. I turn on the computer and on a good day will go for a couple hours creating my latest draft. On a bad day I will struggle through 1,000 words and stop. I try to do this during the semester too so I may keep up with my deadlines.

Next I will work out anywhere from 20 minutes up to a couple hours. This might include walking the dog, doing a video, or when ambitious, visiting the gym. In most cases we are talking under an hour total unless it is a warm sunny day and I’m walking the beach.

For those who are not aware, I also operate two businesses; a marketing company and a health insurance agency. So since the new law came into force I am sitting on hold with an insurance carrier, at the minimum for an hour or so, before I can ask my one question that takes less than 2 minutes to answer and hopefully will correct the problem. This is getting to be a daily occurrence. I try to use the time wisely yet the longer I am listening to this awful music the more I just want to throw the phone.

After that I may try to go back to working the book although between paperwork, marketing, and other distractions, if I don’t get it done in the morning, forget it.

In case you are curious; I have been on hold for the last hour and a half while I write and edit this-

“Hello? Customer service, is that you?”

Katy Perry and Bubble Gum

How many times do we insult someone without realizing we have done so? Last evening at the John Mayer show in Bridgeport rumor spread quickly that Katy Perry was waiting backstage to sing a duet with the hometown troubadour. The whispers turned into girls screeching “KATEEEEEEEEEEEE,” between every song.
This got annoying quick.
A twenty something turned to me at one point and exclaimed “Isn’t it exciting Katy is going to sing?”
I didn’t reply. When she repeated her glee again I simply said, “Isn’t she kind of bubble gum?”
At that point the generation gap is established. I jumped up and danced to covers of Lay Down Sally and You Don’t Know How It Feels along with many of Mayer’s originals. The youngsters talked through the Clapton cover. Actually they talked through everything until they started the Katy screech.
Then they just screeched until hubby informed them Katy had left the building. “Hey – that’s what the GM said, but what do I know.”
Eyes watered. Bubbles popped. And for a few precious songs, silence reigned.

john mayer

Beer Monday or Fish Monday….

It doesn’t matter as long as the view is breathtaking! 

 

The couple on the bench smiled and giggled. They spoke French or Italian or Polish. It didn’t matter because to those within earshot, it was all Greek.

They held hands and enjoyed the view. They probably stayed at the famous 1700’s Inn up the street. This was their New England, maybe even their version of the United States. It is funny that a visitors perspective of our beautiful country depends on where they go.

Their quiet moment could take place in New York City or Miami Beach, however how lucky were they  sitting by the mighty Connecticut, as they watched life sail by.

Greetings!

Welcome to my website/blog.

I will be rambling here about various subjects plus announcing book releases and other fun stuff. Feel free to leave comments, opinions, and ramblings of your own. (Subjected to approval for publication)

I look forward to our exchange and would like to leave you with this thought as I venture out on the interstate:

Artificial intelligence is no match for natural stupidity.

Have a great day!