Chicken burning on the grill. The sound of angry horns reverberating from U.S. 1 as people maneuver the asshole minefield known as summer at the shoreline.
Yesterday on I-95 my husband and I were driving in the left hand lane when an S.U.V. from Jersey went flying past us on the left. Yeah – you read that right, she flew passed our car between us and the concrete barrier. She then proceeds to cross two lanes in order to come to a stop in the “real” breakdown lane. I can’t make this stuff up. Less than five minutes later she passed us again using a legitimate highway lane. I somehow need to incorporate this imbecile into one of my books yet I don’t want to promote bad behavior.
You think this a rarity yet unfortunately, it is not.
Today while my husband took a bike ride near the water, another woman, in different S.U.V. pulled across the street to park going the wrong way along the water. Hey, that’s fine. She could have issues walking and just wants the view. I get it. Except her next move was to almost take my hubby out while she drove on the wrong side on the street for the next half mile.
In my little beach community, the kids are trained to yell a warning when a certain driver comes down the street. His dented car tells the story of unmovable objects getting in his way. Back in May his side mirror came within inches of hitting my friend’s arm as we walked towards the water.
My other neighbor, er character, drives his lawn mower around his yard after nine at night while blaring bad 80’s music. (Is there good 80’s music? Never mind). This may seem like no big deal except he is driving his lawn mower in circles singing at the top of his lungs. We get this live performance at least once a week during windows open season.
There are other examples, too many to share here. Use your imagination, unfortunately anything you can come up probably takes place somewhere. (Remember Jack-Ass TV?) And the world is full of crazy drivers.
The funny part of all this is people come to the ocean to relax. They want to realign their chi, get centered, kick back with a couple cold ones, which are needed from all the stress it took to get there in the first place.
Wondering what my point is? I’m not too sure. Unfortunately, I didn’t make any of this up…truth is more entertaining (more to come on this).
L.M. Pampuro 